What happens when dreams begin to fade? Is it because the dream was never even a glimmer in the fabric of reality? Is it due to over working it, trying too hard and never stepping back to enjoy what it could produce?
A marriage is a dream, isn’t it? It’s that happy ever after promise that comes from the ethereal joy of true love…like the Princess Bride. We will do anything for True Love, won’t we.
But, what happens when the pirate really is a pirate, or the princess does sell out for the quick fix and big dollar payout. Where is True Love when everyone fails to follow through with the promise and ends up just disappointing him or herself and the rest of the world that’s watching?
Over the years, as I’ve remained single among the ruins, marriages have come and gone all around me. Some couples have fought through the bad times and come out on the other side, but too many of them have not been able to overcome hurtful, damaging situations.
Lost affections are the worst kind, maybe worse than unrequited love. Whoever said that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all is probably wrong. I am not convinced that all of that aching remorse of a lost love, the endless tears and self recriminations over who did what and was it my fault…the ripping out your heart deal…is in any way better than the bliss of the ignorant. It’s bad.
So, how exactly do you “move on”? How is that a heart begins to heal, that life begins to feel normal again after your soul has been torn out of your very being?
No answers. Time doesn’t heal, but it does begin to cover the wounds with a self-preserving fog. We start to lose track of the intensity of it all.
But in a marriage, there is that tearing apart of two beings who have been held together in a common bond, a “joining together” that defies our ability to comprehend it’s true nature. It’s a spiritual thing, and when you tear away the things of the spirit, it’s not always retrieveable.
I’m not sure that anyone ever truly recovers from divorce, from the end of that dream. I hope so, because there are too many people whose lives have been shattered by that division of heart, body and spirit.
As Valentine’s day approaches, think about being kind to those whose hearts have been broken, or who are still waiting for the thrill of romance. We’re all a little bit broken, so perhaps we can use the day to make some unsuspecting one a little bit happy, feel a little bit loved.
Maybe, at the end of the day, we’ll have contributed to happiness.