Today I’m sitting and wondering what it is I would choose if only one thing were allowed. One activity or achievement to define who I am and tell the world that I was here.
It is perlexing to me that I am unsure of the answer. There are several categories from which I might choose, and each has a deep root in my life. It concerns me a little, though, that I am unable to choose between them. It’s unsettling to not have a clear vision of what it is, primarily, that makes me who I am.
A few years ago while I was involved in music ministry and actively promoting church agendas, I probably would have told a person that I desired, above all, to see the face of God. And, while I have found some of my deepest and most affecting moments in that presence, in the awareness of the eternally divine love of God, I have to be honest with myself and say that I don’t know for sure that it would be my choice today. I mean, I believe I have access to that anyway, so do I need to choose one moment of it above something else less…well, eternal.
As an artist my desire would be to create that one important and visually stunning, emotionally fulfilling piece of art. It goes without saying that, if I were to try and do that on my own, today, I might be staring at a blank canvas for a very long time as I visualized and erased the many images that would come into view in my mind’s eye. As it is, I am staring at a nearly blank canvas that is propped up in the corner of this room, on the brink of a breakthrough as to what it is going to be eventually. If I sit here long enough with it in sight, it might turn into that masterpiece. So, perhaps I’ll take my chances on that one.
Music is another of my pursuits. There are compositions, lyrics and scattered notes for the future. What if, against all odds, something of mine could make it into the hearts of the world, becoming an anthem of some sort that would create change and love and peace, etc…Big Dream. All it would take is the right connection, the timing and so many things that it probably can’t happen in one day. What’s the rush? More life, better lyrics.
What about my heart? I still have a fantasy about True Love. If there were only one day allowed for that, it would be one filled with a life’s worth of passion and emotional connectedness (a woman’s point of view), and the knowledge that someone would remember me always. How can that not be a good choice? Down side: I would remember it as well…forever. And, living with only memories is not all that it’s cut out to be.
I suppose the list could go on and on. Having looked at what I have here, having just one day of anything doesn’t seem like a very good deal. I mean, Disneyland maybe, or a chance to lose a week’s pay in Vegas. Those might work out as a one day event. But the big things in life, we want those to last.
And, who really wants to be a one hit wonder? If I can produce one piece of art that is great, two can’t be that hard. Same with a song. Songs go round and round our heads and hearts, there’s never just one.
One day isn’t enough. Some people think one life isn’t enough. Compromise is in order, apparently. One life, many days and countless pursuits.
Go for it!